Slab City Running Company

Down the Backstretch Conducts Push Poll for Gravy

2008-11-30T13:12:00.011-06:00

Down the Backstretch, generally considered a reliable news source for Minnesota's running community, appears to have engaged in push polling over the weekend on behalf of Gravy. A poll conducted during the Thanksgiving holiday purports to identify the favorite Thanksgiving foods of DtB readers. Unfortunately, the poll's many structural and methodological problems reveal it to be, at best, a viral marketing effort to inflate the value of Gravy, possibly with the aim of destroying Turkey.

The single-question poll asked participants, "What are your favorite Thanksgiving foods?" We will not attempt to quantify the implications of the obvious drafting flaw, except to note that many readers may have mistakenly believed they would be able to select more than one item from the list. Those respondents would have been less likely to prioritize among their top choices, making the poll less likely to reflect their true favorites. Respondents were given the option of changing their vote but DtB refuses to provide any data on how many actually did.

A substantially larger problem is how DtB framed its single question. A press release issued when the poll opened on Tuesday, November 25th editorialized, "We think underrated (and un-ranked) Gravy is primed for a break-out performance in 2008." By implying the correct response, DtB effectively changed its question to, "Do you disagree that Gravy is underrated?" This is a classic example of push-polling, and it is irresponsible at best, morally reprehensible at worst.

Many readers will certainly agree that this was merely irresponsible. After all, Gravy finished fifth of six, well behind Stuffing and Mashed Potatoes. The perennial favorites carried the day and Gravy only received one more vote than lowly Cranberries. No harm, no foul.

That would be true if a closer examination of these results did not reveal a much stronger performance for Gravy. First of all, Gravy entered the poll unranked but still earned a respectable 13% of the vote. It beat a ranked opponent in the process and improved on its sixth-place finish in 2007. Taken together it seems clear that Gravy exceeded expectations in a year that DtB's poll suggested Gravy should exceed expectations.

A second indicator, however, is even more revealing. Mashed Potatoes skyrocketed from fourth-place in 2007 to second-place in 2008, just four percentage points out of first. And while it may be true that some (freaks) love the simple, unadulterated taste of dry Mashed Potatoes, it is common knowledge that most people enjoy Mashed Potatoes best when they act as a vehicle for Gravy. To the extent that a vote for Mashed Potatoes is at least a fractional vote for Gravy, a significant proportion of Mashed Potatoes' 2008 improvement may be attributable to DtB's push-poll. Indeed, evidence shows that Gravy has a similar, if less significant, effect on Stuffing performance.

In other words, DtB not only framed its question such that Gravy was likely to exceed expectations, it also offered at least three different avenues by which respondents could, and did, indicate some preference for Gravy. Any comprehensive analysis would have to conclude both, (1) that Gravy did, in fact, enjoy the breakout performance DtB predicted and; (2) that Gravy's breakout was not so much predicted by DtB as created by the DtB poll.

The lingering question for Minnesotans wondering where to turn for reliable local running news is Why. Certainly DtB would not be the first good-hearted start-up tempted by the Gravy Train. But what about the harm visited upon Turkey this weekend? The holiday's signature food not only fell to fourth-place, but at meals across the state Gravy literally harvested Turkey's innards for its own use. If Gravy continues to expand its empire at Turkey's expense we will soon sip our Thanksgiving dinners from ladles. Our children may never know the majesty of the forgotten bird, speaking colloquially of Gravy-Day as our ears echo with hallow dissonance. Did DtB willfully and knowingly contribute to this weekend's Turkey obliteration? The public demands to know the full extent of DtB's relationship with Gravy, and what future intentions the alliance has towards Turkey.

SCRC Voting Bloc Dominates Planning Meeting, Pizza Eating

2008-11-26T14:05:00.009-06:00

On Monday, November 24th the Slab City Running Company delegation to the USATF-MN Team Circuit Planning Meeting successfully passed a number of key measures expected to help The Company in 2009. The delegation also ate, like, 900 pieces of pizza. First time delegate, Dan "Chapel" Church, observed, "That was awesome!"

The meeting featured votes on several proposed revisions to the Circuit's scoring procedure, and also all-you-can eat pizza for $10. Slab City's five-person delegation helped pass a measure that will allow teams to drop their worst race from their total score and one that cuts the number of runners on a complete scoring team from five to three for races 15K and longer. The Company displayed intimidating strength by voting together on these measures early in the evening, and also by eating, like, six whole pizzas before the early votes had even been tallied.

The Company delegation was only outnumbered by the Molar Milers Caucus, but the meager difference in voting strength is preserved in the form of Grandma's Marathon's inclusion on the 2009 Circuit. Slab City's delegation, meanwhile, was successful in tipping several votes that prevented the early-season calendar from becoming too cluttered. Slab City's delegation was also successful in tipping several trays of pizza onto The Company's table. Asked for his feelings on losing the Grandma's Marathon vote, first time Slab City delegate, Ross Rankin, explained, "Sure, I would have preferred to have Twin Cities be the Circuit marathon, but I also would have preferred less salad at the buffet. I mean, salad? C'mon."

Veteran delegate, Matt Gehring, echoed his sentiments. "I think the important thing to remember is that even though the Rice Street Mile isn't on the 2009 Circuit, we still ate a ton of pizza." In fact, Ben Ho suggested that by winning the evening's early voting The Company was able to focus on its dominant pizza-eating during the scheduling votes. "We'll be able to field teams relatively easily for most of these races, and even if we can't we'll be able to drop our lowest score. On the other hand, tonight was our only shot at this pizza. I think some of these teams may have miscalculated."

The scoring rules adopted for 2009 are:

New Scoring System for 2009
a) Points awarded based on the number of teams competing at each race. If nine (9) teams participate in a race, the first place team will receive nine (9) points, 2nd place will receive eight (8) points, and so on, until the 9th place team receives one (1) point. Every complete team will be award at minimum one (1) point. The minimum winning point total for open teams will be five (5) points, for masters, four (4) points, and for grand master's, three (3) points, regardless of number of teams that officially score.

Example:

Race #1
Open Men (11 teams)
1. Team A - 11 points
2. Team B – 10 points
3. Team C – 9 points
11. Team K – 1 point

Master's Women (2 teams)
1. Team A – 4 points
2. Team B – 3 points

b) Each team will be allowed to discard the lowest score earned throughout the circuit. If the team circuit is composed of ten (10) races, the end of the year totals will reflect the nine (9) highest places earned.

c) The final USATF Minnesota Championship Race in 2009 will count as double points.

Definition of the Open Scoring Team
An open team will consist of 5 scoring members for distances under 15 kilometers. For distance of 15 kilometers and over, a scoring team will consist of 3 scoring members.

The 2009 Circuit Schedule is:

March 22 - The Human Race 8K - USATF Minnesota Championship
April 25 - Get In Gear 10K - USATF Minnesota Championship
May 7 - TC 1 Mile - USATF Minnesota Championship
May 25 - Brian Kraft Memorial 5K - USATF Minnesota Championship
June 20 - Grandma's Marathon - USATF Minnesota Championship
July 25 - Lumberjack Days 10 Mile
August 2 - Hennepin Lake Classic 5K
August 9 - MDRA Minnesota 15K - USATF Minnesota Championship
September 13 - City of Lakes 25K - USATF Minnesota Championship

The Circuit's pizza source should be restocked here.

Winds of Change: The Collegeville Circuit Revolution

2008-11-26T14:04:00.011-06:00

Slab City Running Company's spiritual rivals, Collegeville, have always been famous for the amount of wind they generate. This fall Minnesota running fans are asking themselves, is it just wind? Or, is it wind of change?

Collegeville finished fourth on the 2008 Road Circuit for the second consecutive year, but they closed with series of strong performances including an impressive second-place showing at the MDRA 15K. The motley collection of jovial ex-MIAC runners finished the season just three points out of third-place. Representatives of the Circuit's ancien-regime were nervous, but they also assumed that colder weather would weaken Collegeville's resolve and quash any attempted November Revolution.

Instead, the ancien-regime fell on Sunday, November 8th 2008. Collegeville recorded a convincing victory at the USATF-MN Cross Country Championships and won the USATF-MN Cross Country Team Circuit. Of course, the quality of competition on the Cross Country Circuit is compromised because Slab City does not participate, choosing instead to spend the fall gaining weight and otherwise preparing to hibernate. Even without The Company's weighty presence, however, Collegeville's victory must be recognized as a significant moment in Circuit history.

We at Slab City therefore take this moment's pause from our November weight-gain to salute Collegeville for blowing fresh winds of change in the faces of the Minnesota running community. And while it is true that Slab City would very likely have won the Cross Country Circuit by much, much more if we had been in shape to do so, the Collegeville Revolution ought not be overlooked. Our sincere congratulations.

Now, brace yourselves to experience the crushing weight of the 2009 Slab City Running Company Counter-Revolution.

The 2008 Circuit Wrap

2008-11-26T14:00:00.016-06:00

Aye, November, and another USATF-MN Road Racing Circuit has fallen from time like skeletal maple leaves wafting to the frosty earth against autumn's dying glow. We who raced it, lived it, and now months removed need no reminders save the scars on our souls and the victories in our hearts. We swallow the warm mouthfuls of tea and soak the morsels of cake that bear unflinchingly, in the tiny and almost impalpable drop of their essence, the vast structure of recollection: Slab City Running Company kicked some serious boo-tay in 2008.

Slab City detractors have rightly observed that The Company managed only a fifth place finish. True enough, but those final team standings remain the only piece of evidence suggesting that Slab City Running Company is not the best team on the circuit. In fact, The Company matched it's 2007 performance and also experienced significant growth over the final races of the season. After perennial leader and Company co-founder, Chris "Bizyah" Lundberg, left for the wilds of Idaho several Slab City rookies carried the team through the august August competition.

Ben Merchant led the squad and impressed his mother by doubling at the Hennepin-Lake Classic. Andy Jahn made his Slab City debut in fine style with a near-PR shirtless 10K, and Tom Church returned to the scoring ranks with his 5K performance. Matt Gehring and Phil Schrader also dizzied themselves around Lake Calhoun to clinch The Company's fifth-place showing. Ben Ho, meanwhile, anchored The Company booster squad by arriving prepared to run even though he was still recovering from racing the Chisago Lakes Half-Ironman Triathlon the previous weekend.

Just one week after Hennepin-Lake, Andy Jahn returned to lead The Company and relieve Reuben Woodruff of his state record for 22 year-olds at the MDRA 15K. Reuben, undeterred, thrashed his way to a 55:07, and Ross Rankin made his Slab City debut with an as-advertised 57:09. Triathlons can only keep Ben Ho down for so long, and he joined Matt Gehring to clinch another fifth place finish and to guarantee that Slab City would finish no lower than fifth overall for the season.

With little left for The Company to prove, Paul Fischer and Ross Rankin each showed the strength that would serve them well at the Twin Cities Marathon by turing in impressive performances at the City of Lakes 25K. Paul led the team as Ross continued building a reputation worthy of challenging Bryan Donald for the position of Slab City Metronome. Sadly, the day's most impressive performance did not register favorably in the results. Dan "Chapel" Church completed the 25K in 1:44:32. His fastest miles, however, were those he completed before the race began, dashing from his car to the starting line after misplacing Lake Harriet. Lake Harriet, as so many of us have learned, waits for no man, and so began the 25K while Chapel was still two sprinting minutes away from the starting line. He did well to finish the race at all, but completing his two fastest miles en route to the course left him depleted and The Company celebrated the racing equivalent of a Golden Birthday on the seventh.

At season's end, fifth-place Slab City was 18-points ahead of the sixth-place Molar Milers, and ahead of more than half of The Company's Circuit rivals. Strong performances from Paul Fischer, Ross Rankin, Tom Church and Ben Ho on Twin Cities weekend suggest The Company is poised to chip away at Collegeville's 11-point fourth-place margin and Ford's 14-point third-place margin. Until then we toast Company Runner of the Year, Ben Merchant, for leading the team at six of nine races and Company Co-Rookies of the Year, Ben Ho and Paul Fisher. Toasts and teas preserve our memories through these winter months, as we prepare to greet 2009 with supple mind and limb.

Experts Predict Rash of Updates to Slab City Blog!

2008-11-25T21:03:00.006-06:00

Experts are predicting a rash of updates to the Slab City Running Company team blog this weekend. Sources close to the proceedings estimate that by the time the Thanksgiving weekend is over the site could be updated as many as four times. The sudden rash of updates would mark a radical departure from the site's recent no-update approach.

After months of wasting time pursuing activities ranging from running to not-running, the site's editor has decided to restore blogging to his list of time wasting pursuits. A source familiar with the editor's writing process says that the timing for these updates was predictable. "Now that the holidays are here, he definitely has many more important responsibilities. Family, friends, work, maintaining his health. With everything else that should take priority, I wouldn't be surprised if we saw six or seven updates before the weekend is over."

That estimate sounded high to one observer. "He won't have internet access for a couple of days. I think four updates is likely, but the balance will be weighted toward the end of the weekend."

Experts are still examining the relationship between the editor's renewed consumption of coffee and the anticipated updates.

Jessica Deutsch, another source close to the proceedings, explained, "Get off the compu

Slab City Gathers Self For Finishing Circuit Kick

2008-07-07T23:12:00.009-05:00

Slab City Running Company is spending July looking ahead at the three remaining races on the Minnesota Team Circuit, gathering strength for a final surge. Two-thirds of the way through this grueling test, The Company is strategically positioned at the tail end of the main chase pack. Content to let Lundgren Ford and Collegeville do the hard work of chasing down front runners, Run N Fun and TC Running Company, SCRC is lurking comfortably in fifth, and ready to strike with the kind of ferocious finishing kick we displayed at the 2006 Get in Gear 10K.

Unsubstantiated reports from around the Twin Cities suggest that Company rivals have started to panic. Frankly, if they haven't, they would be well-advised to start. Our fifth-place team, a team just five-points out of third, has featured scoring performances from the motliest collection of runners this side of Anthony Famiglietti. At the TC One-Mile, for example, Reuben Woodruff laughed off wisdom tooth surgery en route to 4:48. At Brian Kraft an Anonymous Company Member (ACM) turned in a scoring performance despite the fact that he was still suffering embarrassment, having too-narrowly avoided vomiting on his girlfriend's mother the day before. Worse still, at the USATF Master's 5,000m Tom Church turned in a scoring performance while (barely) wearing the same sized singlet he wore during his rookie season.

The unflappable Ben Merchant has helped to offset some of these misfortunes. His third-place finish among Circuit participants at the TC One-Mile led SCRC to a fourth-place showing and a 17-second victory over Collegeville. Chris Lundberg, Paul Fischer and a surprising as well as surprised Matt Mascioli joined Reuben in the scoring ranks. Ben Ho and Tom Church, the Slab City Sentinels, guarded against attacks from the rear.

At Brian Kraft it was Merchant once again, shaking off a wedding to lead The Company in 15:57. Bryan Donald followed him, shaking off the in-laws, in 16:24. Steve Harris, Chris Lundberg and Paul Fischer rounded out the scoring, shaking off Texas, Woods to Water and Sunday respectively as Slab City finished fifth. Dan Church decided to shake off the race itself once Paul went by, and saved himself for the following weekend. Ben Ho decided that spending 5K on Sentinel duty with the likes of Tom Church would be too much shake without enough fries. He wisely tapped Matt Gehring as his replacement, and Gehring, also recovering from the 80-mile relay, shook out a gutsy fourth race in 24-hours.

One week after Brian Kraft, the only marriage on Merchant's mind was his own...to the shoulders of some of the best runners on the Circuit. His fourth-place, 15:17, at the USATF Master's 5,000m helped The Company to another fifth place finish. Dan Church stormed back from his shaky race the week before with a stellar 16:49, and Chris Lundberg left fans wondering if he is more machine now than man with his 17:08. Phil Schrader turned in a solid 17:27 in his first race since March, but failed to lap Tom Church, who literally rounded out the scoring for Slab City.

The Circuit resumes on August 3rd at the Hennepin/Lake Double-Header. Company rivals are beginning to tighten up, over train, over compensate and over think. The Company is relaxed and preparing for an elegant finish; the kind of finish that can only manifest without the travails of compensation or training. Or thinking.

Slab City Vows To Stay in Team Circuit Through City of Lakes

2008-05-01T00:30:00.012-05:00

With three primary races tallied, Slab City Running Company sits in fifth-place overall on the 2008 USATF-MN Team Circuit, two points behind Lundgren Ford and only four points behind third-place Collegeville. After three early wins, Run 'N' Fun is the presumptive nominee for their party. TC Running Company has notched three runner-ups, and the Circuit math is in their favor as we race for the right to challenge Run 'N' Fun. Slab City has posted strong finishes in each of the initial contests this season: fourth at the Human Race 8K, fourth at the Earth Day Half-Marathon, and a close fifth at the Get in Gear 10K. After Earth Day we were tied for third-place overall. But now, after a 10K race plagued by controversial weather knocked us into fifth, some are calling for us to drop out.

Loyal fans, volunteers and donors, Slab City Running Company will never drop out! As you know, we are the finest team on the Circuit. We are most qualified to win in September. We are prepared for stuff. And we are still awake at 1:15am. The process established by USATF-MN will reward all of these qualifications. To drop out would compromise the legitimacy of that process, and deny honorable, hard-working races like Hennepin-Lake or the Master's 15K their right to have a say in the outcome. For the same reason, we pledge to continue our effort to count the results from the Race for Justice 5K towards Team Circuit scoring. When a runner participates in a race it is appallingly undemocratic to ignore his performance merely because USATF decided that particular race would not be included on the Circuit. We will make sure every race is counted. And we promise to each of you that we will take this fight all the way to City of Lakes!

Examining our performance thus far strongly suggests that The Company will improve over the course of the summer. This team fares particularly well in the suburban and rural areas that surround central cities, and the rest of the schedule is packed with races in places like suburban Edina and the Linden Hills countryside. In fact, the only remaining urban contest is the TC 1-Mile on May 8th in Minneapolis. After that, the Circuit will stop in the tiny Hamlet of Nokomis before returning to rural St. Paul where The Company fared so well at the Human Race. From there a doubleheader in Calhoun Township before hitting the suburbs will have Slab City positioned nicely for a fall victory. Here's a closer look at the demographic split for the Circuit so-far:

The Human Race 8K

Ben Merchant's beard set the tone for Slab City's performance as he led the way with a 25:58, pacing the team for a solid fourth place showing ahead of Collegeville. Post-race data suggest that Slab City's work ethic was especially resonant among St. Paul's rural community, and nobody embodied that principle more than Christopher "Biz" Lundberg. He took a 26:39 break from marathon training to complete the 8K. Bryan Donald, Reuben Woodruff and Dan Church completed the scoring for The Company as Phil Schrader and Matt Gehring also returned to the roads for the Blue & White.

The Earth Day 1/2 Marathon

Dan "Chapel" Church led a fearless Slab City contingent in St. Cloud, where Phil Schrader, Matt Gehring and Ben Ho also braved a dizzying four miles of twists and turns before finding a straight road. Once there, Chapel discovered he could take a full stride. He decided to take several, and they got him to the finish line a minute ahead of his anticipated finish. Schrader arrived next, 15s ahead of schedule, giving The Company our margin of victory over Lundgren Ford. Gehring, meanwhile, calmly matched his Human Race pace for 13.1 miles. When asked to comment he simply explained, "small-town racers respect consistency." He proved correct, as the town handed The Company another fourth-place finish and an extra reason to celebrate Ben Ho's Slab City debut.

Get in Gear 10K

In every Circuit season, the winds of controversy eventually swirl. Successful teams are those who manage them best. By that measure, Slab City Running Company was the most successful team at the Get in Gear 10K, for nowhere will controversial winds blow more powerfully than they did on the Ford St. Bridge. In blinding sleet and slush The Company banded together, with Bryan Donald, Chapel, and Paul Fischer all finishing within 15s. Ben Merchant once again led the way as Reuben slammed the door. Paul Fischer made his Slab City debut while Ho and Gehring each followed-up their fine performances from the week before. Stalwarts, Jim and Allen Lundberg, also made their season debuts giving The Company the most cohesive nine-man squad this side of the Metrodome. Strong individual races from Collegeville and Lundgren Ford left Slab City in fifth place on the day and overall, but well within striking distance.

Ultimately, the nomination for the right to challenge Run 'N' Fun will be determined by super runners, many of whom presently compete unattached. Slab City has logged countless hours off the racing trail recruiting and wooing these crucial members of the Circuit process. Early endorsements from Ben Ho and Paul Fischer reflect the sentiment held by many such established runners; that The Company is the team most likely to disrupt Run 'N' Fun's winning streak this fall. A steady stream of super runners have also endorsed TC Running Company, but many Slab City supporters are waiting until after the TC 1-Mile race to declare their allegiance. With their support, with yours, we will race past Collegeville, Ford and TCRC and take the Circuit at City of Lakes! Send your contributions, check or money-order, today!

(Because, um, we're having trouble with some of these entry fees...)

BREAKING NEWS: Schrader & Mascioli Forced To Write Down Mileage

2008-03-18T23:26:00.003-05:00

Amidst growing competition and fears of wider recession, mid-level Company members Phil Schrader and Matt Mascioli have been forced to write down mileage. For many quarters, these runners have cut their interest in training, focusing on curbing mileage inflation and boosting employment. Even Alan Greenspan has jumped on the bandwagon of critics suggesting that Schrader and Mascioli have allowed their interest in running to lag significantly below short term nap rates for too long-- making street credit nearly impossible to obtain.

Schrader's ego appears to have been fueled entirely by easy corporate credit, where anyone able to run a continuous 5k earns a WOW rating. He'll face an uphill road in the coming months, however, as he slipped below local Coffee rates- a key historic indicator- in Sunday afternoon trading. Analysts predict that stakeholders will begin calling in options to run, particularly after his mortgage-backed Excuses expire sometime this spring.

In the summer of 2007, Mascioli famously responded to an earlier stakeholder suggestion that he write down mileage. A visibly upset Mascioli declared, "You don't even know what a write-down is!" The stakeholder agreed, but observed that Mascioli did, and that Mascioli would be the one writing it down. Mascioli is then said to have wished for those thirty seconds back, a claim he now denies.

Schrader and Mascioli have both announced that they may be forced to write down mileage all summer. The size and even the exact nature of the write-downs are still unclear.

2008 USATF MN Team Circuit Preview

2008-03-13T14:00:00.001-05:00

The 2008 USATF MN Team Road Racing Circuit begins in three longer-than-they-were-before-daylight-savings-began days. Our collective anticipation for sun and sweat will make them seem short. That is, the days of which I speak will pass rapidly, thereby reducing their mass. All things are relative.

Not the least of which is Team Circuit Performance. Most of the previews you'll read will say something like "Run 'N' Fun hopes to win again!" Relatively speaking, who cares? The Team Circuit is not about winning, and it's certainly not about winning "again." No, the Team Circuit is about beating people. Sometimes it's about beating all the people, but usually not. The Minnesota Team Circuit is a collection of undeclared rivalries; individual, collective and existential. For six months each year our private hopes and fears spill into the streets. We train and fret, plot and scheme and measure our happiness and self-esteem against arbitrary targets, usually unaware they have been selected for such a role.

The Team Championship is only one of these battles. It is probably not the most important. Those are likely to be the individual battles we've chosen privately, and that I will not address until I either win a bunch of mine or get angry at someone. In the meantime, here's a look at the team rivalries that will shape the 2008 Men's Open Circuit:

Run N Fun vs The Runners Formerly Known as Edge

Every year about 15-20 somewhat-fast dudes lace up their shoes and compete for either Run 'N' Fun or Another Shoe Store. Until recently Another Shoe Store was Runner's Edge. When Runner's Edge went out of business last year, GEAR absorbed the team...and lost the title. This year the former Edge runners are likely flocking from GEAR to TC Running Co. Run 'N' Fun has won at least a share of four of the last five circuit titles, but TCRC had a solid team in 2007 and finished fourth even without the somewhat-fast Edge transplants. The problem, of course, is that the Runners Formerly Known as Edge are developing a reputation for acting like the aliens from Independence Day. They travel from sponsor to sponsor, exhaust its resources, lay waste to its cities and move on. If this pattern holds, look for GEAR to have a rebuilding year in 2008...and for TCRC to have a rebuilding year in 2009.

Lundgren Ford vs Third Place

As far as I'm willing to research, Third Place has won this battle every year. In spirit if not in fact. Spiritwise, look for Nothing To Change in 2008.

Slab City Running Company vs Collegeville Track Club

Because we at SCRC are (the better) half of this rivalry, it is extremely accurate to say that this is by far the most compelling and complex. Old MIAC triumphs and defeats are relatively fresh, but so too is the realization that nobody is making us run. We are free to run, not run or go to grad school as we please. Our teams are tied at 1-1 all time on the Circuit. In 2007, Collegeville followed Peder Arneson and some strong second-half recruits to victory. Really, though, the winner in this battle will be determined by which team does better against a shared rival: Autonomy.

Collegeville vs Autonomy

Last year Collegeville destroyed Autonomy and managed to find plenty of runners who hadn't yet realized they don't have to run. More importantly, the autonomous forces present on the Collegeville roster proved less influential than the opposing running forces. The team seems poised for another impressive performance in 2008, but Autonomy has a ringer in the form of Mark Rapacz. If his trip to Asia inspires similar departures look for a depleted Collegeville team to lose to both Autonomy and SCRC.

The Company vs Autonomy

Autonomy has always had a charismatic and influential presence on the Company roster. Andy Sherman's leadership on its behalf and Phil Schrader's happy-go-lucky acquiescence have been attractive models for a younger generation of autonomous members. For years, Christopher "Bizyah" Lundberg has been the team's primary bulwark against Autonomy, and he may part Company this season after his law school graduation. If that happens SCRC will have to pin its hopes on Schrader, who recently has shown signs that he is post-autonomous by leading runs with groups of younger Company members.

Team Ortho vs Molar Milers

It's like, who is better when it comes to mouths and running? Probably the Molar Milers, since Ortho is short for Orthopaedic. These teams were separated by just one point heading in to last year's final race. You would think that the orthopaedic team would have an advantage because of its collection of joints, bones and spines. It turns out, however, that what the Molars lack in joints, bones and spines, they make up for by being Milers. Team Ortho is not taking last year's loss lying down. The team website has announced that it will expand beyond joints, bones and spines to include "Every Body." By the end of the season the team might even include essential legs and arms. But if the Molar team continues to Mile, Team Ortho's expansion might not matter.

The Human Race is Sunday, March 16th! Don't worry about winning, just worry about beating people! See you on the streets...

Mileaj or Maltaj: SCRC Team Meeting Wrap

2008-03-02T22:19:00.000-06:00

Last Tuesday (2/26 if you're scoring at home) I looked up from my malt to discover that there were six other fellahs scattered around Annie's Parlour. We pulled our tables together and did our best not to discuss running. Unfortunately we strayed off topic and covered some SCRC matters, some of which involved running.

The 2008 USATF Minnesota Team Road Racing Circuit begins in just two weeks at The Human Race on Sunday, March 16th. SCRC expects to field a team without much problem, but reminds everyone who hopes to race to renew your USATF MN membership. When you do, please list your team affiliation on your registration form, and please make sure to list our team.

The rest of the circuit schedule is listed to the right. We expect that fielding complete teams at each race this year may be more difficult than it has been in years past, so if you know you will not be able to race on certain dates please email Tom or Biz. In particular, The Company may be thin at Get in Gear, Brian Kraft and the MDRA Minnesota 15K. If you are planning to be around for any of these races it would be extra fantastic if you ran them.

It would (probably) also be fantastic if you want to recruit any New Members for the The Company. SCRC would like to extend a warm welcome to Brent Kudak, a former MIAC runner, expert turkey-carver and coordinator of the UMN Med School 5K. Thanks to Bryan Donald for his outstanding, home-brewed, recruiting efforts. It is not required that you enroll in med school to recruit new members, but it is not discouraged.

If you've got a new recruit interested in joining The Company but they are worried there might not be enough breakfast in it for them, fear not! At least for the duration of the season a different SCRC member will host a Sunday Run & Brunch every month. These will be listed on on the SCRC schedule to the right. The March Run & Brunch is coming up this weekend at the Mascioli's Apartment. Chapel will host the April Run & Brunch the week before the flurry of April races.

Finally! If you still do not have a uniform, please contact Chapel. Your uniform and uniforms for many of your closest friends are in his closet. If you do have a uniform but are interested in purchasing a new, alternative and lighter-weight singlet, please contact Tom. Those interested will be purchasing these singlets in navy, either from the Anaconda Sports website or from Marathon Sports. We will screen-print a simple S.C.R.C. (or something similar) across the front. We will plan to place the order by March 10th so those interested can have them for the bulk of the season.

Posts will pick up again as the season starts; the 2008 season preview is forthcoming!

The Rest of Aught Seven

2007-12-31T13:22:00.000-06:00

We have been simply swamped over here at SCRC headquarters. There have been Business Meetings, Social Events, Family Gatherings and Seinfeld Reruns. We are exhausted! We are sighing heavily and speaking weary exclamations with increased frequency! Goodness Gracious! But, my-oh-my, what a lot of racing has been completed over these, the last months 2007 shall e're witness. Won't you join us as we reminisce?

The Race In New York

Not even a month after we all remembered why it's best not to run marathons, Christopher "Bizyah" Lundberg forgot. He placed 319/1-Billion in 2:49:58 at the New York City Marathon. If he had placed 519 his place would have matched the police-code used as a joke in that one episode of Seinfeld where they were in LA looking for Kramer. But he placed 319, which is not very funny. He also reversed his Marathon Trajectory such that he now runs faster, not slower, over consecutive marathons. Bizyah will have another go at the East Coast at the Boston Marathon in April, 2008.

The Race In The Resevoir

SCRC Runner of the Year, Dan "Chapel" Church, returned to action the day after Thanksgiving by making a celebrity appearance at his high school alumni race. He jogged his way to a 2nd place finish behind a glory-seeking collegian. The collegian was later heard boasting, "I nailed almost 100-theses to the door of the Great Chapel and caused in him a schism!" It was weird.

The Race In Ohio

After two consecutive years of racing to the bottom at the USATF National Club XC Championships, SCRC decided we would be best represtented by an individual performance. When you send a team to these things you know how it goes. It's all politics and so-and-so doesn't eat venison parmesean and his shoes are on my feet and vice versa and there's never enough EPO to go around. So SCRC arranged to mail Bizyah to Ohio for this year's race. Simple, efficient, and the post office is right around the corner from my apartment. A loyaler soul than Herr Bizyah, however, I challenge you to find. He balked when he learned just how much the postage would cost for SCRC to mail him to the race, and offered to drive himself. So he did, leaving Minneapolis at 5pm, arriving in Ohio at 5am (well ahead of the scheduled Post Office delivery), napping in his car until race time, racing on the course until the race was over, showering, and driving back. Biz competed well in terrible conditions and saved The Company not only postage, but some face as well.

The Race This Morning

Some men look at the Twin Cities Racing Scene as it Is and say "Why?" I am one of those men. Some men look at the Twin Cities Racing Scene as it Could Be and say "Why Not?" Eric Hartmark is one of those men. Eric Hartmark examined the Twin Cities Racing Scene and recognized that there was not one single 2.05mi uphill race. And Eric Hartmark said "Why Not?" And Eric Hartmark took some clay and his rib and sculpted something called the West River Road. And he saw that it was Not Enough and he sculpted something called Franklin Avenue. And he saw that it was Still Not Enough, and he sculpted something called Prospect Park. And he saw that it Needed Just A Little More and sculpted Tower Park Hill and caused it to be covered with Snow. And he saw that it was 2.05mi uphill, and he caused the faithful to run it. Bizyah placed second at this race, trailing only its creator. Chapel placed fifth, fourth among non-creators.

Happy New Year from Slab City Running Company!

Twin Cities Recap

2007-10-11T10:01:00.000-05:00

This is why we live in Minnesota. Days like this. If you raced the Twin Cities Marathon, if you raced the Twin Cities 10-Miler, you know what I mean. The Dixie-whistlers in Chicago had to deal with the oppressive conditions you would expect from a southern marathon. Ninety-degrees. Ninety-percent humidity. That is just insane. Is it any wonder that native Moroccan, Khalid Khannouchi, won four in a row down south? North of the equator here in Minneapolis the day broke crisp, twenty-degrees colder than the starting temperature in Chicago. A comfortable moisture hung in the air like a cozy fleece against the 70-degree chill. And although 10,000 runners toed the line, the weather conditions had all but anointed Ukrainian and Russian champions before the race began.

Slab City Running Company fared well against the elements. Native Wisconsinite, resident Virginian, and full-time Aerobic Animal, Andrew Schroeder led the Company in 2:43:53, a PR by over seven minutes. His 36th place finish is the best in Company history. "Well, I've been watching a lot of Man vs. Wild" Schroeder explained in a post-race interview. "The biggest challenges are always mental. For me, once I resisted a pretty strong urge to dive off the Franklin Avenue bridge in order to demonstrate what to do if you happen to dive off the Franklin Avenue bridge, I knew I was going to have a solid performance." Schroeder executed his race strategy the same way he executed spectators who failed to provide sufficient fluids, with medical precision.

Dan "Chapel" Church finished just four places behind Schroeder and delivered the Company's gutsiest performance. Taking aim at the local elite time-standard, 2:35, Chapel held his goal pace for twenty miles before remembering that he wanted to stay awake to watch the Red Sox clinch the ALDS. He slowed down just enough to guaranty himself a 2-minute PR, 2:45:20, but the most impressive part of his performance was not his steely focus over the final 10K. Chapel's time is most amazing because it includes a quick stop at his apartment to hit refresh on ESPN Gamecast. Chapel, who has already established himself as one of Minnesota's elite sitters, likely secured elite standing for the next two years at the Twin Cities Marathon by finishing sixth among Minnestoans.

Allen Lundberg giggled his way to the finish line in just under four hours, but he saved his sprint for the trip from the chute to the Caribou Coffee stand. His 15s split for post-race arrival and full-cup consumption edges his younger brother's 2005 mark by 3s. The two are said to have then engaged in a pissing contest.

Also, we are pretty sure that Andy Sherman ran this race. We saw him last night and he said something about a "full body shiver." It kinda grossed us out. Plus, it was cold for everyone. Suck it up, man.

No, if there was tragedy for the Company at TCM 2007 his name was Phil Schrader. Loyal fans recall his marathon debut and his impressive string of sub-3hr marathons and perhaps they shake their heads at his 3:32:19. We do not. We worry that something greater than minutes and seconds was lost on Sunday morning. We saw his grim finish and thought whimsically to his stirring performance in 2005. Though he finished with the masses on Sunday, it appeared he was no longer their champion. Gone were waving arms and populist kisses. In their place, the single-minded pursuit of a material finish line, painted on concrete and not on his soul. Those of us who remember 2005 teared-up after the race as Schrader suggested we "head over to Target."

Whither then some constant in a bitter world that freezes marathoners and Schrader's heart alike? A hopeful Company turns of course to Schroeder and Chapel, but also to Ben Merchant and Chris Lundberg of 10-Mile persuasion. Smerch capped an impressive season by placing a reassuring 50th in the US Championship field, and Biz raced without a shirt. For fans, for humanity, for the Company, maybe that is all we need. Smerch and his consistent performance, Biz and his naked chest; these are our anchors in the frozen ocean we call home.

Slab City will compete sporadically but enthusiastically over the next month. Bizyah returns to action on November 4th in New York. Schrader returns to Target tomorrow. And Chapel will spend the next several weeks defending his 2006 Minnesota Sitting Championship against his chief rival, Andy Sherman.

Twin Cities Weekend Preview

2007-10-05T13:32:00.000-05:00

Twin Cities weekend is always a very tense time of year around the SCRC corporate headquarters and 2007 is no exception. With four members running the marathon, two running the 10-miler and the rest planning to protest along the course, the Company is more polarized than any other time in its history. As always, the polarization is along sharply ideological lines. The marathoners are generally newer members, well known for their pro-race positions. The pro-choice members are generally older, and the reasons for their positions on the sidelines are far from uniform. Barring some unforeseen injury, this weekend's decision will come down to Slab City's two swing-racers in the 10-miler.

Dan "Chapel" Church will try to avoid the second marathon curse that has plagued other Slab City members. Coming off a very strong season riding the circuit, Chapel is expected to impose a speed limit on himself and an undue burden on any pro-choice spectator hoping to shout at him for more than a few paces. The Aerobic Animal, Andrew Schroeder, is very likely to sign any opinion drafted by Chapel. After a summer training in Virginia Schrades seems to have shed some of his reluctance to speak with the press. In a recent interview he explained, "On Sunday I will throw down."

Not so optimistic but easily as vitriolic is Andy Sherman, elder-statesmen of the pro-race movement. A polemic dissenter, racing even when inappropriate or likely to contribute to a disharmonious Company, The Shermanimal has seen his popularity and influence skyrocket with Slab City's recent influx of young pro-race members. His June opinion in In Re Grandma's Marathon was 25minutes faster than anything he'd previously authored and he's spent the summer with Chapel, riding the circuit and preparing himself for Sunday's case. In recent months his health has become a larger question mark, however, and if he needs to recuse himself the pro-choice members would have one less reason to shout.

Nick Mascioli is the newest, youngest, most intolerant pro-race member. He is also Italian, and showed up to his first Slab City practice demanding that we all call him Justice Samuel Alito. None of us get it either. Alito cut sugary alcohol from his diet, though, and is looking trim heading into this weekend. He'll spend Sunday morning trying to persuade Phil Schrader, historically pro-choice, to sign on to a pro-race opinion. The debate could take as much as four hours.

Swing racers, Chris "Bizyah" Lundberg and Ben "Smerch" Merchant, are likely to determine which side carries the day for Slab City. They bing different backgrounds to the 10-miler, Bizyah staunchly pro-race and Smerch typically a more moderate pro-choice member. The danger for the pro-choice contingent is not whether Smerch will win. He will. Instead, pro-choice members will be watching intently, hoping that Bizyah does not attempt to influence other voting by leading Smerch for 7 or 8 of 10 miles. That could mean a disastrous outcome. But I won't describe it.

Swing racers go at 7:10am, pro-race marathoners go at 8am! Pro-choicers, bring something clever to yell.

The 2007 Circuit Wrap

2007-09-29T12:36:00.001-05:00

Slab City Running Company finished 6th of 11 teams on the 2007 USATF Minnesota Team Circuit. Run N Fun "edged" GEAR for the overall title, Lundgren Ford enjoyed its final year finishing third and Collegeville rode a rejuvenated Peder Arneson and some fresh-legged studs to a fourth-place tie with newcomers, TC Running Company. After seven months and eight races, SCRC was only ten points from making that a three-way tie and matching our 2006 debut.

SCRC's 2007 successes promise continued success for the 2008 season. Slab City Rookie of the Year, Ben Merchant, led the team at Brian Kraft (15:35), Rice Street (4:21), and the Master's 15K (49:30). Prodigal son, Bryan Donald punctuated his return to Minnesota with a crucial 5th-man performance at Get in Gear and followed it up with a post-collegiate best (16:07) at Brian Kraft. Runner-up for Slab City Rookie of the Year, Reuben Woodruff, announced himself as a strong mid-distance threat with a blistering race at Rice Street (4:28). Andy Sherman PR'd by over 25 minutes at Grandma's Marathon, continuing his journey back to reasonable fitness and Matt "Ol' Faithful" Gehring ensured that SCRC would not drop from the standings with his gutsy performance in Duluth.

But the 2007 SCRC Runner of the Year has to be Dan "Chapel" Church. Chapel put together one of his most consistent and one of his most impressive seasons, carrying an often ailing or depleted Company. He opened his year with a huge PR at the Human Race (26:29), followed that with a 33:22 at Get in Gear only 2s off his PR, and surprised himself with a 4:43 mile at Rice Street. In the meantime he helped to anchor another dominant Woods to Water squad and PR'd by over four minutes at the Gary Bjorklund Half-Marathon. He PR'd again at the Master's 15K (51:02) and led the team to a 4th place finish at the City of Lakes 25K with a 1:29:27. At City of Lakes Chapel ran his final 5mi in 27:45, just 5s slower than his 2006 Human Race 8K.

The team has some individual business to finish up before looking ahead to 2008. Chapel, Sherman, Schrades and Nick Mascioli are sleeping now for the Twin Cities Marathon on October 7th. Bizyah will test himself against Abdi and Dan Browne in the TC 10miler before competing in the slower of the two November marathons in New York.